Devistating...

This weekend was devistating in the Lawson house. We found out Saturday that Lexus, our beloved Rottie, has bone cancer and there's nothing more that we can do for her. We have medication that we can give her to ease her pain, she can't walk on her back left leg, but she's managing to get around.

She's been limping for a while, but then it stopped so we thought that she just hurt herself running around in the back yard. Friday night is when it got really bad, so I called the vet to get her in on Saturday and Tom took her. At first, they thought that it was just a torn ACL or worse, hip dysplasia (we were fearing that she was going to have surgery for that!) and took x-rays and when it came back, it showed that she had bone cancer and that was the lump we found on her leg. :-( They said that they could do a biopsy and possibly amputate her leg, but the quality of her life would go down.

Right now she's moping and doesn't do much, it's just sad. We're going to carry out the medication with her and then after that, we have to have her put down. I feel so bad for Tom, I'm heartbroken, but he is just so upset about this because that was his buddy. It just stinks because she's around right now, but knowing what the outcome is going to be is so hard. It was just last year that we had to make the decision to have Mercedes put down! When I was talking to people about it, they felt bad and said that in time, maybe we could get another dog, but I think we're done with dogs because of what we've had to go through in the past year. We're dog lovers, but we can't go through this again, to come home knowing what's going to happen and to see that mentally she's still the same dog, but physically she's dying and we have to make that hard decision to let her go.

My question is this...how do we get through this? How do we come home and realize that it's now a quiet house instead of being greeted at the door by an overly excited dog that doesn't have a tail, but wags her butt? Lexus was the one that made it easy to cope with the loss of Mercedes, she made it ok after a while. I know we have to come to terms with the fact that we're doing the best and that she's suffering and this is no life for her...but...it's just way to hard...